Thursday, July 10, 2008

Floating

There are these tiny moments in parenthood that must be meant for so many larger picture reasons. Some moments result in us looking at our parents in a new light - a sort of reflection on emotions they may have had. There are moments that make you take pause and delight in all that is so right in this world. And still others
I am guessing start to prepare you for what rocky waters may lie ahead.

Yesterday I had one moment wrapped inside another. LittleA brought home a bright yellow balloon from a birthday party. It was tied with a long curly piece of ribbon. During the car ride home she told me all about the balloon - how she whirled it around at the party - and how she had to hold onto it tightly. I am sure you can see where this is going. We arrived home and hopped out of the car - I was carrying some packages and she was holding the balloon. I walked ahead of her to unlock the door and I then turned to watch her tiny being walk down our back pathway. I had the mama gaze going on as I just took in the precious view of her tiny stature in a little sun dress toting a bobbing balloon. And as I was daydreaming to keep this image in my head I saw the tiny spot of yellow float on by.

In a split second I processed all of these thoughts -

  • I knew this would happen.
  • Why didn't I tie it to her arm.
  • She did need to see the cause and effect of this scenario.
  • If I drop all these packages and run I might be able to catch it.
  • The balloon was free and not a character balloon - not a bad one to learn this lesson on.
  • Oh crap my heart if going to break when her lip starts to quiver.
  • Sh*t it is too far away to grab now.
LittleA went into the house sobbing. I turned and saw the balloon float away. I called her back outside to watch with me and see how beautiful it looked sailing through the sky. She did come out and we had a moment together where neither of us cried. The balloon coasted past our apple tree and was framed by the hundred year old perimeter trees on our property. It really was an amazing moment and I took it as a quick time to try and turn things around. We talked about how lovely it was to see a balloon float - as we normally don't get to when we try to keep them. I brought up the book Emily's Balloon and how this reminded me of the book she liked so much. I mentioned to LittleA that perhaps someone having a really bad day might have just peaked into the sky and seen her amazing balloon float by and maybe it cheered them up for just a moment. I was mentally patting myself on my back for my quick thinking and ability to turn the situation around a small bit....and then reality woke me....

"But I am having a bad day and that balloon would make me feel better"
ahh yes of course. The sobbing began again. It took a while to calm her. And when the story was retold by LittleA that evening to Tim when he came home - the tears returned. It was one of those moments that I can add to the pile...watching my babe in sadness. It crushed my heart and tore me up. What ever will I do when the hurt is beyond a balloon? When a situation is bigger then a mamas comfort can settle?

5 comments:

Jennifer said...

You are such an amazing mama. With tears in my eyes I am loving all of you so much right now.

Ellen said...

I agree with Jennifer. You take it just one day at a time.

Dayna said...

aww - thanks ladies :) We love you too!!

Gill - That British Woman said...

You know that is a memory that will stay with you forever. When she is an obnoxious teen you can tell her the story, and that should shut her up for a moment. Been there, done that as they say..LOL

Great blog.

Gill from Canada

By the way I line dry my laundry as well!! I even have a photo of my laundry on my "whirly gig" on my blog.

Gift of Green said...

Beautiful post, Dayna.